Some Secrets Women Wish You Knew

 

A Caring Guy Is a Hot Guy

1. What do women want? For those who've ever pondered this question, here are 19 relationship secrets. They're based on the study of healthy, happy couples and our changing gender roles. Secret No. 1: Women appreciate a guy with a sensitive side, especially when they're upset. Put your arm around them and hand them a tissue. Nurturing is a powerful way to connect.

 

Chivalry Still Has a Place

2. When it comes to romance, many women do like men to take a traditional masculine role. This is especially true in the wooing stage of a relationship, according to psychologist Diana Kirschner, PhD, who's written several books about love. They are perfectly capable of pulling out their own chair or opening a door, but if you see them hesitate, they might just be waiting for you to be the gentleman.

 

Dress to Impress

3. Styles come and go, but men's attention to their grooming and clothing should be long lasting. It's important to women from the first flirtation through the honeymoon and beyond. "You've got to figure out if there's a certain look that she likes," says Kirschner. "If she likes a guy in tight jeans, you wear tight jeans."

 

Guy Wears Red, Guy Gets Girl

4. OK, this tip doesn't come from women, but from clever testing by psychologists of women's subconscious preferences. One intriguing study found that the color red made men seem more powerful, attractive, and sexually desirable to women. There's a caveat, though. Red doesn't make guys appear nicer or kinder. That part is up to you.

 

Don't Hide Your Flaws

5. Nothing captures a woman's heart quite like a good man who wants to be a better man, according to love guru Kirschner. "Women love personal growth, they love a man who is thoughtful and sensitive." They like it when their men recognize a flaw -- a short temper, for example, or a regularly sullen mood after work -- and love it when they make an effort to address it.

 

Don't Try to Fix Their World

6. When something's bothering them, they want your ear, not your advice. "Men feel the need to fix things because they are solution-oriented," says Kirschner. "But to a woman, really listening is a wonderful, wonderful thing that deepens the relationship."

 

Nodding Is Not Enough

7. Listening is important, but they also want to know that they are being heard. Nodding along won't cut it. When she pauses, she's giving you a cue to respond in a compassionate, caring way, says Kirschner. If they tell you that they are upset because their boss gave them a tough time, they want to hear you say, "I'm sorry that work was such a drag for you today." And remember: Resist the urge to offer solutions.

 

Date No. 3 Is Not a Bedroom Key

8. The three dates before sex rule is an urban legend. Women don't set a timeline on when they'll invite a potential partner into the bedroom. Some women will want to have many dates before sex. A good rule of thumb is to give the relationship at least two months to grow before entering the sexual arena.

 

Women Like the Slow Lane

9. Guys often want to take the quickest path to sex. But many women prefer the scenic route. "Women want sex but they get to it in a different way," says psychologist Kirschner, who has helped hundreds of couples achieve a more rewarding relationship. "They want to feel connected and understood, they want to be romanced." That means time and talking and touching -- in other words, foreplay.

 

Safe Sex Is a Turn-On

10.  This is something both of you need to focus on, but Kirschner says that women appreciate it and feel more protected when the guy makes it clear that it's a concern to him -- and then shows her that he practices what he preaches.

 

Learn What They Want in Bed

11. Women do like to talk to about what's going on in the sack, and they want to please their man -- and a tactful approach is often best. Ask them what they like. Be sure to ask for what you want in a positive and validating way. Kirschner advises saying something along the lines of, "I would really love if you [fill in the blanks]."

 

Performance Anxiety Is Shared

12. When you have an off night and can't perform, they feel bad, too. They might worry that they no longer turn you on and they will want assurance that that is not true. They will want to talk about what's going on and what you are doing about it, especially if it's a recurring problem. "It's a touchy thing for both of you," says Kirschner, "but talking about it is a plus."

 

Mirroring Is a Barometer of Love

13. Remember the saying "imitation is the highest form of flattery"? A woman often conveys how they feel about you by mirroring your moods and moves. They may order a meal that pairs with yours, wear your favorite color, or smile or cross their arms when you do. Mimicking is their way of putting you at ease and letting you know they are charmed.

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What Happens When You Stop Having Sex

 

You Might Feel More Anxious

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Maybe sex is the last thing on your mind when you’re stressed out. But it might help lower your anxiety. Sex seems to lessen the amount of hormones your body releases in response to stress. And an active sex life can make you happier and healthier, which might also help keep anxiety at bay.

 

Your Heart May Not Work as Well

2/12

Research says people who have sex once a month or less get heart disease more often than those who have it twice a week or so. Part of the reason could be that you get a bit more exercise and are less likely to be anxious or depressed. But it could also be that if you have more sex, you’re physically and mentally healthier in the first place.

 

You Might Get Less Exercise

3/12

Sex typically burns about 5 calories a minute. That’s about equal to a brisk walk. And you use a bit more oxygen too -- about the same as digging in the garden or walking down the stairs.

 

That may not seem like much, but it starts to add up over the long term. And because sex can improve your mental health, you might be more likely to do other types of exercise like the neighborhood kickball team, hiking, or housework.

 

You May Lose Your Keys More Often

4/12

Well, not so much lose them as forget where you put them. That’s because regular sex seems be linked to improved memory, especially if you’re between ages 50 and 89. It’s not clear why.

 

Your Immune System May Get Weaker

5/12

Weekly sex seems to boost your immune system compared to those who have it less often. Part of the reason may be that it raises levels of a germ-fighting substance called immunoglobulin A, or IgA. But more is not always better here. People who had sex more than twice a week had lower levels of IgA than those who had no sex.

 

Your Relationship Changes

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Sex bathes your brain in a chemical “afterglow” that lasts about 2 days and helps to bond you to your partner over the long term. Without it, you could lose some of the satisfaction of your relationship. A healthy, happy sexual relationship -- couples who do it at least once a week seem to be happiest -- can help build trust and understanding between you and your partner.

 

Your Prostate May Be Less Healthy

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The reasons aren’t exactly clear, but in at least one study, men who ejaculated less than seven times a month were more likely to get prostate cancer compared to those who did it at least 21 times a month.

 

But unprotected anonymous sex and multiple partners can also raise your chances for the disease, so when you do have sex, take care.

 

You Might Sleep Less

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Without sex, you’ll miss out on the hormones that promote restful sleep, like prolactin and oxytocin. Women get an estrogen boost that helps even more. The reverse is true, too: If you decide you want to start having sex again, a good night’s sleep is just the thing to keep you feeling frisky.

 

Aches and Pains Hang Around

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Sex can be a good way to take your mind off of any aches and pains you have. But it does more than that. Orgasm causes your body to release endorphins and other hormones that can help ease head, back, and leg aches. They may help arthritis pain and menstrual cramps, too.

 

You Could Have Sexual Problems Later

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It may seem odd, but “use it or lose it” may apply here. For women at menopause, vaginal tissue can get thin, shrink, and dry out without regular intercourse. That can make sex painful and weaken your desire. And some research says men who have sex less than once a week are twice as likely to have erectile dysfunction (ED) as those who have it weekly.

 

Your Blood Pressure Might Rise

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Sex seems to help keep your blood pressure down. That makes sense when you consider what it does: It adds a bit of aerobic and muscle-building exercise, and it can ease anxiety and make you feel better. Both of those can help keep your numbers where they need to be.

 

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14 Reasons You Should Have Sex Now

 

It's Exercise

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It’s not necessarily a full workout, but it can be as good for you as moderate exercise. It raises your heart rate about the same as a brisk walk or a slow bike ride.

 

Good for a Woman’s Heart

2/15

Women who have sex a couple of times a week are less likely to get heart disease than those who have it once a month. Whether that’s because healthier women enjoy it more often, or because it helps protect a woman’s heart is unclear.

 

May Cure Your Headache

3/15

Say goodbye to the old standby “Not tonight, Dear. I have a headache.” It turns out sex can help with pain, and that includes some kinds of headaches, such as migraines. Not feeling frisky? Try: “Not tonight, Honey. I have a highly contagious stomach bug.” Works every time.

 

Lowers Stress

4/15

People who have more sex are less anxious when they’re faced with stressful tasks like public speaking or arithmetic. But according to the study, it only works when you have a partner -- masturbation doesn't count.

 

You May Live Longer

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One study suggested that married women who climaxed more often had a slight tendency to live longer. Researchers aren’t sure if the sex actually lengthens your life or if having sex is a sign of a healthier person. But why take any chances?

 

Sharpens Your Mind

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Sex has been linked to the making of new brain cells, and that’s a good thing. People over 50 who had more sex were better able to recall numbers and do basic math, and the difference was pretty big. It seemed to help men more than women, but both did better than those who had less sex.

 

Makes You Happy

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You don’t have to overdo it -- once a week is plenty. More than that, and the effect fades. But scientists only studied couples in committed relationships, so if you’re trying to meet your quota by picking up strangers at your local bar, all bets are off.

 

Bonds You to Your Partner

8/15

The hormone oxytocin is released during sex, and it sparks feelings of intimacy, affection, and closeness with your partner. That helps build a strong, stable relationship, which is good for everyone.

 

Keeps You Lean

9/15

The more sex you have, the slimmer you’re likely to be. Is that because more sex keeps you trim? Or because lean people have more sex? Scientists don’t really know, but all you need is a partner and a bathroom scale to try to find out.

 

Good for Mental Health

10/15

Adults in committed relationships who have more sex are less likely to be depressed or take medication for mental health issues.

 

Helps Fight off the Common Cold

11/15

Move over, vitamin C. College students who had sex twice a week had more cold-fighting antibodies in their saliva than those who had sex less often.

 

Helps You Sleep

12/15

Orgasm triggers a surge of endorphins and oxytocin in both men and women, and that dulls pain and relaxes you. Both of those can help you sleep more easily, though according to scientists -- and many women -- the effect is more pronounced in men.

 

You Could Make a Baby

13/15

If you’re trying to have a baby, the more sex you have, the more likely you are to hit the right time of the month. But more sex may also prime women for pregnancy and improve sperm quality in men, which can speed things along.

 

Helps Your Future Self

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People who have more sex may have better quality of life -- and not just now, but in the future, too. If you have an active sex life in middle age, you’re more likely to keep it up as you get older, which is linked to better health and happiness.

 

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At What Age Do Men Stop Being Sexually Active?

 

There are many things in this world that get better as they get older. A fine glass of scotch is one. The balance in your 401k is typically another. When it comes to aging for men, we gain wisdom, our tastes grow more refined, and we usually enjoy a general sense of fulfillment.

 

Of course, growing older isn’t all distinguished gray hairs and disposable incomes—and one of the things most of us will fight tooth and nail to hold onto is our sexual activity and desire.

 

Paying more than a passing glance at any TV commercial break will paint a depressing picture; apparently all men immediately become lethargic and lose their libido as soon as they turn 50. Per the gentle narrator intoning over these ads though, one or two tiny little pills could seemingly solve your erectile dysfunction and all those problems nearly instantly.

 

Slim chance. Still, it’s no wonder there are so many questions regarding what age men stop being sexually active—if ever. These concerns become more and more pertinent as we age and our bodies don’t act in quite the same ways they always have. These changes can come with both negative and positive consequences, however. After 50, you’re likely to begin experiencing:

 

Less Firm and Slower Forming Erections

Don’t worry, it’s perfectly normal for arousal to take a bit longer than in your younger years. This may be due to erectile dysfunction, but may also be biology at work. A diagnosis from a men’s medical professional will be able to determine the root causes and signs of ED in more detail.

Premature Ejaculation

PE can either remain a problem or return anew as we get older. Up to 31% of men between 50 and 65 have experienced bouts of PE, so don’t think you’re alone. There are many methods that can be practiced to help stop premature ejaculation in conjunction with therapy from a specialized men’s medical center.

Syncing With Your Partner

The lament of younger women tends to fall along the speed with which we tend to achieve sexual satisfaction. However, as you get older, you’ll notice your timelines seem to naturally match better. The additional time necessary to get turned on and ready for action for you may also result in increased levels of happiness and cohesion between the two of you well into your latter decades.

So, as you approach the back half of your life, should you go ahead and nix a great sex life out of your plans? No way.

 

Do Men Ever Stop Being Sexually Active?

when do men stop getting erections being sexually active

 

For men, there is no linear relationship between getting older and losing your sex drive. In fact, the right healthy habitscan help you maintain your sexual vigor well past what society would have you think.

 

No matter what, one thing that you can rest assured won’t ever change, is your ability to derive physical pleasure from sex.

 

While everyone is different when it comes to their sexual appetites and physical health, research has generally shown that men enjoy a sexual “life expectancy” of between seven and eight and a half decades. That’s a great run, no matter how you look at it.

 

A nationwide study conducted in 2010 found that nearly 40% of men between the ages of 75 and 85 reported that they were still sexually active. More than that, just over 70% of those men described their sex life as “high” in quality.

 

A national survey conducted by the University of Michigan in 2018 unearthed similar data. Among both men and women between the ages of 65 and 80, 65% said they were still interested in sex. 54% noted sex as an important aspect of their relationship with their partners, and 40% were still sexually active on a regular basis.

 

The good news here is that the desire to keep having as much sex as possible is likely shared by both you and your significant other—and you both consider it an important facet of your lives together. Yet according to the 2018 survey, there remains a glaring discrepancy between those who wish to continue having sex, and those that are.

 

Is this where the concerns over how long a man can stay sexually active arise from? What can be done to bridge the gap if you find yourself in the former group rather than the latter?

 

Natural Ways Older Men Can Stay Sexually Active

ways older men stay sexually active avoid ED

 

A hint can be found in both the 2010 and 2018 reports. In all cases, the men who reported higher amounts of sexual activity and quality also indicated that they were in very good to excellent health. This should be rather obvious, but the correlation is still strong enough to warrant extra emphasis. The key component here is most likely testosterone.

 

As you already know, testosterone is the male sex hormone. You likely also know that our T levels decline as we get older. Low testosterone (also known as Low-T) is behind all kinds of male ailments, with your bedroom performance being one of the ones near the top.

 

It isn’t just age that can have a negative impact on our testosterone—and by proxy, our sexual performance and satisfaction. T levels can be harmed exponentially by poor health habits, including the following:

 

Obesity

Poor Diet

Lack of Exercise

Smoking

Excessive Alcohol Consumption

Depression

Fortunately, most of the things potentially threatening your testosterone levels and overall libido are within your control. Others, like some cardiovascular medications, can possibly be swapped out by your physician.

 

Treatments For Men to Stay Sexually Active

Getting back into a healthier routine is one thing—but what if you need a little extra help? Well, with age comes wisdom; the 2018 survey found that more than 60% of those within the 65-80 age group reported that they would consult with a men’s health professional should they experience sexual dysfunction of some sort.

 

This is encouraging, especially as there are a great many ways the male libido can be enhanced compared with decades past. Advancements in medical practices, along with an increased understanding of our bodies, have led to innovative ED treatment methods like acoustic wave therapy. There have also been great strides made in the treatment of adrenal fatigue and low testosterone, and even the emergence of the study of male menopause.

 

You Deserve Great Sex at Any Age

The bottom line is, just because you’re approaching retirement from the boardroom doesn’t mean you have to take a break in the bedroom. You can have great sex again—and again and again—well into your later years.

 

If you’re suffering from sexual health issues like erectile dysfunction or premature ejaculation, contact the men’s health professionals at Prime Men’s Medical Center today to book an appointment and learn how.

 

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